Speaking in Tongues

No, this will not be a blog about religious philosophies… although, if I did decide to open the “tongues” can of worms, I do have some opinions…

No, I am speaking of the language of Economics.

I am working on my MBA. Why? I haven’t a clue… Anyway I am taking a class called Managerial Economics and Globalization, where we are being taught how to forecast local and global business trends and how they will perform in the future.  (Apparently, having the crystal ball to see into the future is an important concept in the business world.  I just want to know what the weather will be like tomorrow, so I’ll know if I need a sweater.)

So, in Economics, we use the tongue of Economics, which is a cross between Algebra, Geometry, Calculus, and a little bit of First grade alphabet mixed in for good measure.

I’m a very verbal person. I have a degree in Business Management; with honors, might I add, so I can speak to you about business trends and understand the economic concepts; but our PhD, attorney, economy masochist professor, wants me to tell him what I know using the Economics tongue. That’s where the struggle begins.  I can communicate with everyone but him; He wants information in only one way, and I just don’t speak that language.

Ok. So here it is…     I (M-G)/D2=A/C2050

Translation: I must go now and divide my time in order to complete Assignment #2 to make an A in the course that is costing $2050 to complete.

Yeah. Good Luck with that, Lisa

Angel with Broken Wings

The picture on my blog is of an angel that sits in my backyard flower garden.

 My husband and I bought it at an antique shop in Mt. Carmel, Ill. while visiting family last June.  My oldest son, his wife and daughter live in a wonderful apartment there, which my daughter in law so amazingly designed.  Across the downtown street, we found a cluttered, but interesting shop filled with 30 years of the owner’s would be treasures.

 The angel was outside, in the “yard section”, and when I saw her, I instantly fell in love with her.  She reminded me of me.   

She was there, looking like, at one time, the most beautiful creature made; just as we all are, when God forms us.  She was weathered and broken, just as I am, after many bad life choices.  I felt a connection to her, sitting there, among things that were once new and beautiful, wanting to have love and life once again.  It reminded me that God loves me... just as I am. I loved her exactly like she was. I swooped her up in my arms and said… “She’s mine, and is going home with us today.”

She isn’t perfect, but looks perfect in my back yard.

My husband said, “I like her, because she’s just like you…an angel, with broken wings”.   

And that’s how God sees us, too.  He looks past the brokenness, chips, and scuffs; scoops us in his arms and says, ...

“Your mine. And, you are going home with me.”

Under the Influence

I went to the dentist today, and they asked me, do you want the gas?
 HA HA HA 
 Are you sticking a long needle in my cheek and jaw? .. Yeah, I want the gas!

They gave me head phones that played classic rock, and I began to relax a little...  I hate going to the dentist.

That stuff I was breathing makes me a  little loopy, and since I'm such a control freak, I talk to myself.  In my mind I say, "Don't let go, keep your wits... Don't let go of your mind."  Then, after several minutes, I  finally give up the fight with myself and say..  "Give it up, and just give in...this is bigger than both of us" and finally float into la la land...  " I love the dentist, I love the dentist"...  

I never tried any kind of drugs, and have never been drunk, (except with love; not with the dentist) so this is my best and only high...  

During this "trip" I thought of all kinds of cool stuff I could tell everyone in this blog; unfortunately, I can't remember any of it. I do remember "Stairway to Heaven" playing at the beginning, and,  me being the best drummer The Rolling Stones ever had, at one point...   but that's it...   Sorry.. I'll try to take my notebook in next time to take proper notes.

What is that stuff...and can they put it Brownies??

Dining with Death

I am in the process of writing a Bible Study entitled, “Eating in the Garden of Eden”.

 I tell people this philosophy is easy to follow; if God didn’t make it, don’t put it in your mouth.  But, I have recently discovered that I need to add this idea, I think. 

DON’T EAT EVERYTHING THAT GOD MADE.

This is  what I learned… Eating raw Octopus can kill you.

I suggest in my study that maybe we should eat food straight from the natural source, i.e.; the ground, the tree, the ocean or streams, out of the chicken or from the field.  No extra sauce or dressing needed. Eat it raw, baked steamed or grilled – and call it healthy.  OK. 

    

 Btw, EAT IT RAW... reminds me of one of my favorite movie lines ever!  

         “Give them to us raw and wigglin!”…  Gollum,  of The two Towers!

(sorry… I get side tracked…see previous blog)

I enjoy watching the Travel Channel. There is an entertaining host named Andrew Zimmern, who is on several shows and I was watching his special called “Dining with Death” (this is where my blog title comes from… it was not original). Andrew was explaining that eating raw sea food is popular all over the world, but eating raw octopus can be dangerous~ The little suckers have little suckers! And they will still wiggle after chopping them up into headless, delectable bite size pieces…  Gollum would LOVE ‘em!!

The danger lays in not chewing them properly, thus, swallowing a tentacle that will, although already retired from life, try to attach to the diners throat and hang on in a quest to protect itself, one last time, from its own demise.   If the little, dead, chopped up sucker succeeds, it could lead to affixation.

The doctor in South Korea, who was interviewed about treating this international phenomenon, warns that if one chooses to eat raw octopus, please chew thoroughly in order to break through the suction cups and maybe down a carbonated beverage to loosen to suction grip.  

Can you imagine?? Being strangled by your dinner? What a strange ending to one’s life.

I stand firmly on, “If God didn’t make it, don’t’ eat it”.  But I am now adding… Think CAREFULLY before you eat SOME THINGS that God made!”

and have a nice, safe dinner tonight! ;)

Taming Elizabeth

When I was in Kindergarten, in Midwest City OK., I was untamed.

 So much “untamedness”, that my teacher literally tied me to my chair. I’m serious! 
REALLY!  She actually brought a rope to school, and tied me to my little, tiny, kindergarten chair!! Oh, the law suits that would bring today!!

At that time, fall of 1965, this was the conversation from the old black rotary.  (No caller ID for warning) RRIINNNGGG...“ Hello. Mrs. Parrish? This is the teacher. Lisa can not stay still… She gets out of her chair and disturbs others.  She doesn’t like to do her work, and causes the other children to want to play, instead of learn. She does not know how to control herself or behave. Please fix her, or I will tie her to her chair. ”  

That’s a huge shock to all my friends, I know… Lisa can’t be still? WOW...  Now, it’s diagnosed as ADHD.  You have heard of it.. Some people use that title as an excuse to misbehave…but others, like me, who are a wee bit impulsive, have had to grow up with some humorless social issues.  But, we are brilliant!  

As an adult, I have finally learned how to “Tame Elizabeth”.

My 5 year old niece, Elizabeth, has the blessing of being brilliant, as well.  She is the happiest and most ‘excited about life’ person I have ever met. She is the child who will change clothes 17 times a day, because she gets a better idea of what to wear. When she gets a beautiful idea, she colors it on the custom painted dining room wall.  She likes everyone and everything, because each new person or action is an unexplored adventure. I use her to explain about me, to other people. 

“Elizabeth” is what I have named all the ideas in my head.  There is a lot going on, moving very fast; all kinds of different things to do that are fun, challenging, adventurous and worthwhile; but I usually don’t stay on those important tasks long, because “Elizabeth” gets pulled off on another fun journey.

It takes everything I have to sit in church for one complete hour, without wiggling…It's really great that Baptists have discovered that we have hands to clap and hips to sway! I have to take notes during the preaching. That's good on so many levels, and people see that, they think I’m very spiritual.

When I was in a 4 hour training session at work, I told the facilitator, “I really am paying attention.  I can’t sit still unless I’m writing, doing a crossword, or flipping through a magazine. I listen better that way!” Yeah…she believed that. Even right now, I’m writing this blog, while watching CSI, and catching every word of the show…   (Solved the case, as well! We are brilliant!) 

While I was going to college, I would go into my room, turn on the TV, check all my email, facebook, and anything I could think of that might take my concentration off of Business 101.  I had to get all of that out of the way so I wouldn’t be thinking about those things when I should be learning.  
I have to have to TV going in the background, so Elizabeth will hear, be entertained by the pretty noises, and let me do my work.  
It sounds like a mental illness, but it’s not.  It is brilliance and creativity at it’s finest! It just needs to be tamed.

That’s how we manage as Adults with ADHD.   Understand, love and appreciate us!

There is no one to tie you to your chair at this age.  You have to do it yourself.  

Lookin’ GOOD!

I was in Starbucks the other day, getting my coffee and Raspberry muffin. I noticed some cute motorcycle cops in there, and I thought, “Hey, cute cops!”

 I like cops, I married one…I guess it’s the uniforms…

Anyway, I was ordering my coffee, and I could feel them looking…and I thought, “Oh yeah, I look good!”     Uh huh.  I continued to add cream and Splenda to my coffee, and glanced over… Yeah…they were still looking.

 I thought, “Yeah Baby! I got my spanx on,    I’m looking GOOD! “   

I go to my car feeling happy, young and flattered… I get in my car and glance in the mirror as I am backing out, and...GHASP! …my bangs are still BARREL ROLLED FROM MY CURLING IRON!! 

 They weren’t lookin’.., they were LAUGHING!!….  

   That’s when it hit me. When you are too old to remember to comb your hair before you leave the house….. No one is lookin’…

(exert from my upcoming book, "Grandma Rides a Motorcycle")

No guarantees in life…

Like… The 2AM info-mercial I saw, advertising, “If you buy this “belly buster” you are guaranteed!! To loose 6 inches off of your middle in two weeks!!   REALLY??   I’m thinking, …No...

I work in a municipal cemetery.  I see death almost everyday. Nothing is guaranteed.  There are children interred there, that deserved, hoped and dreamed of growing up and becoming a doctor, pilot, or policeman, but didn’t get that chance. Nothing is guaranteed.

We study at college, hoping to make a difference at our new found career.  We hope we can change the world, but then our own world may be shattered, and nothing is changed by us, for the better.  No guarantees.

We are healthy our whole lives.  We have great plans for retirement with our lifetime love.   Then cancer hits, and wipes us out financially, physically, mentally.  There are no guarantees.

A young police officer was shot and killed last week in Arlington.  The reports told how she worked her way through college to earn her criminal justice degree, went through the Police academy and had just finished her rookie training with the APD.  At age 24, she had the world in front of her, and she wanted to make a difference in the world.  She died by giving her life to save an 11 year old girl, caught up in a domestic violence rampage. She died making a difference.  She was not guaranteed a long life, but she definitely had a full one.  I honor Officer Jillian Michelle Smith, and thank all officers, fire fighters and military personnel for making a difference, while having no guarantees.  

If I never say anything else that is important, I know following is.  God is a guarantee.  He is the only thing you or I, can depend on. Guaranteed.  I know this by the proof of everything around me. No matter what tragedy has come to our lives, God will see us through, even if we can’t seem to see to even tread water. We need to live life to the fullest; getting and giving to others as much love and happiness as possible, every minute, every day. Waiting on Him is an everlasting learning process.  He has proven himself countless times.  And He doesn’t have to. He is God.



NEXT: Lookin' GOOD!

Starting new things

I asked a friend, "What should I do, to go about getting my book published?" He told me to start a blog, and show the publishers how many people love my work.  That has not happened until today, because I saw the task of blogging as taking away from my publishing efforts. I thought..."if I put everything in a blog, what will be left to publish?"  Still...that is my question.  Plus, I have no typing skills, and correcting all of my mistakes will take forever! Seriously...
    But, here I am, and we'll give it a whirl. 
     Let me explain to you, I write like I talk... sometimes very sarcastically, in abbreviated form, and probably making no sense to the common man. If you follow along, know that up front.  I'm sharply, and sometimes, cruelly honest, which leads to misunderstandings at times.   I don't mean to hurt, but sometimes, I am a little edgy. My mom calls it "harsh". Sorry, mom.
     I also have a lot of great ideas; Fast out of the gate...not so much on endurance. So, again, it's the whirl thing....here we go.